Dating in the nigerian culture

In my opinion, the only time we have problems with people of other races, cultures or religion is when we have not answered those questions.

What Is Nigerian/igbo Culture Like? Dating? Relationships,belief System? - Romance - Nairaland

We have now the means, now more than ever, to learn more about the people we meet. Its a shame if we do not learn, there is so much to learn, and there is also so much we can contribute towards. Sorry for the long comment I have learned not to put clauses on what I ask for This I think should be the course one should take in one's quest for a partner.

I mean asking for prince charming might become a real headache when he shows up in 14th century tights, speaks in old English and rides horses and not cars.

But what did you ask for? A prince charming and you got a prefectly good one. I say ask for who is good for you. Marrying within your culture, religion,age group, career path wharreva might make things a bit easier but it by no means guarantees a happy life. I say, keep an open mind and an open heart. I can date across racial boundaries but for better for worse, I cant imagine going down the aisle with a white or coloured person not to talk of bearing brown children I have seen the good and the bad of same culture relationships and different culture relationships.

If ethnic group affiliation is one of those characteristics, though more involved, that an individual is going to have to ask themselves whether or not it is a major factors in their PERSONAL decision for a mate. For some it may be and for some it might not be. I don't think that we should judge people who do choose to stay within their own group and elsewhere. You have one life to live and for most, one marriage within that one life.

Nigerian Men and Relationships – Is it Wise to Date Them?

Do what you think is best for you. Having said that, I have my own personal preferences which I choose not to share now, but I think those who know me both in "real life" and my blogs have a general idea for what my personal preferences are. But for those who are bold enough to go outside their ethnic group oops, did I just implicitly reveal my preference , mad props to you Paul was not referring to interracial relationships but marriage in general Great post, don't really know what to say as this is a controversial topic which i don't think will ever have a specific solution as everyone's opinion differ.

But i surely will say that the Grace of God is the most important thing to keep a marriage happy and successful.

What Is Nigerian/igbo Culture Like? Dating? Relationships,belief System? - Romance - Nigeria

Multicultural relationships take a lot of tolerance. I have often dated outside my region of Africa. The relationship that I was most happy in was for 2 years was with a man who knew a lot about my culture and was very accepting of who I am. He saw me as first a woman before anything else. He never expected me to be something which I wasn't. He never tried to shape me into his people. He just loved and accepted. Many people who cannot date outside their culture or region, who often have difficulties, it generally stems from a place within them in which they have not accepted that they are dating someone from outside their country.

I remember talking to a guy about my relationship once, and you could have seen the glee in his face when I told him that we broke up. He was nearly jumping with joy when he said "so the south went with the south just the way it should be". To be quite frank, my parents can have their own preferences but I am the one that will have to live with the man, so my choice is what counts.

Moreover, aren't I supposed to leave my family's home to cleave to his. I know my parents are not like that, but even if they do, i am sorry to say, i had rather live a man i love and not hear from my parents than live with a man i do not know from abraham and hear from my mom every week. I could not concentrate I was caught up with the interviewee This was nice to read.

I have always been told that I must marry someone from my tribe. My parents insist that I must marry a Muslim girl. But, many of my girlfriends have been Yoruba Christians which drives my mother crazy. But, I think that eventually, she will learn to live with my decision, whatever it may be. She ended up married to a Yoruba guy who has given her nothing but grief. She is a very bitter person, and seeing her and hearing her story made me determined from a very young age only to marry someone I love no matter where they come from, no matter what my parents opinion is.

After all, both my grandparents are dead now and my aunt is carrying her cross all alone. I am in a multicultural marriage, and I must say that while I understand the misgivings of parents, you fall in love with whomever you fall in love with. I did not go out looking for a white guy to marry, I never dated a Yoruba guy that was not deliberate o , but my choice was always black and always African. When I started to date my hubby, I could not tell my parents about him. And the black men who marry white women, it never ends well. When we said we wanted to get married, my dad thought I must be pregnant.

He even tried to convince me to admit it, lol. Of course, there was a lot of stress, but they have finally accepted my choice. Any marriage, no matter whom you marry, the guy next door, a pastor, green, purple or white, will face its challenges.

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The main thing is that there is love and enough commitment to each other to weather the storms. My hubby that eats pepper more than me sef, lol. I am not saying they are perfect they have their own wahala— sometimes I tell my unmarried friends that I think it would be easier to be married to a Nigerian. After all the person is not suffering. Also many white people thinking that you are the authority on African suffering and poverty and war. The funniest was after church last Sunday, when I was introduced to some elderly friend of my father in laws.

I nearly burst out laughing. Sometimes I just want to scream at the ignorance of some people. But, when I have a still moment, I am glad I married the man I married — not because he is white and non-Nigerian — but because he was the first guy I met that I unreservedly was able to say yes to. He is the one I love. Sorry about the loooooong comment! Love and God is all dat matters however marriage is not a small matter regardless of who you marry.

What i say to each individual is to weigh everything-no relationship is without its challenges and no matter who one marries one is going to have to compromise. What i hate is seeing people who marry and yet afterwards start complaining-if you know dat fufu is ur breakfast, lunch and supper dont go marry oyibo who is a sandwich only queen and come and hang around my house complaining about ur weight loss. There is nothing worse than ungrateful people who are putting their spouses under undue pressure to conform to this image that God never made them to be.

Marrying someone from the same background does not automatically mean dat u are going to gel dat is primitive mindset. I may be black but dat does not mean that i have anything in common with all the black people i meet-at the end of the day it is the one who will love and treat u right.

Having said that if i were to get married i will definitely not marry a non african for the simple reason dat i believe my destiny is to live in a village in remote africa and it simply is not fair to subject some foreigner to the freezing chill dat bush attack cam cause on da buttocks not because i am racist. Until someone can guarantee me that marrying someone from the same tibe, background or whatever have you ensures a successful marriage then I'll to not only keep being open minded but also willing to learn new traditions and cultures. I love your accent I was shocked anyways we didn't work out.

Nigerians should chill with this only marry your own tribe business. Well it is hard to marry outsiude of your country esp if your country is dominantly controlled by culture. I mean a London person marrying and american would not be so hard to adapt with. I can't blame the Nigerians for having this "marry only Nigerians" mentality.