Dating a male paraplegic

He was just so sure of himself, not in a self-absorbed way, but in pure sense of self. Each day we spent time together, I observed something new and learned by what was presented to me. Aaron was going to meet my friends for the first time at a birthday party, and I was excited, but nervous. As time approached to our meeting, Aaron texted me that he was running late… 15 minutes turned into 45 minutes, and then I grew angry. He explained to me that his bowel program BP took longer than expected and he was rushing to pick me up.

My heart instantly dropped as I thought How could I not know that he went to the bathroom differently? He does almost everything differently! I had to throw away that notion and presumption, and start this relationship with fresh eyes.

The Do's & Don'ts of Dating with a Disability - UroMedUroMed

Easier said than done! My friends, of course, had their questions ready as soon as they heard about the man who I was dating. Hands down, the two questions I was asked and I am still asked to this day are: Can he have sex? The sex question is a whole article in itself. As for the driving, Aaron has written his own article about his experience and the adaptive technology available. I do not remember the first time Aaron asked me to help, but I do remember the first time I noticed he needed help. As we were leaving the restaurant on our first date, I was walking with my girlfriend in front of Aaron.

We stopped on the curb to say our goodbyes and get into our cars, when I noticed our friend go over to Aaron. Such a simple task for me which I never thought about, yet watching another person struggle with the step was a bewildering moment. I was three years post injury and Judy was fresh out of a divorce when we met. We experienced similar situations in getting to know each other, and yes Judy gets the same two questions and additionally they usually ask how to both.

Thank you for the kind words and sentiment, Steve and Judy! We are lucky to be surrounded by a community of strong partnerships, including you two. I have a son who has a c5 injury July 4, so we are still figuring things out but I am hopeful he will meet someone that he can share his deepest secrets and his heart.

Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your next post. Sharing this journey of spinal cord injury has been one of the greatest gifts my husband has given me. My oldest son, now 29 yrs old had a diving accident in …. The challenges my son and the rest of family face daily due to the traumatic brain injury are catastrophic, we try do our best, and take one day at a time.

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Thank you for sharing your journey. May God Bless you and Aaron and grant you many more years together. You all are a beautiful couple and I wish for you beautiful children and a long life of love and happiness.

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Retail Customers Retail Login. Spinal Cord Injury Home. So allow me to tell you my thoughts on beginning to date someone in a wheelchair: I hope this helps someone know the uncertainty is to be expected, and I was once there! I have progressive MS and I find it hard sometimes to have a positive attitude.

How do you reach out to others? The psychological roller coaster of life can be dramatically amplified by a physical condition like MS or spinal cord injury - no doubt! Some use a sliding board short smooth board to slide on to make it safe and easy. They can pull their wheelchair apart and stow it in the back seat of the car. It is polite to offer assistance. Many paraplegics will already drive their own car with hand controls. I want to know what the deal is with catheters but I do not want to seem rude and ask my date how they pee and stuff.

Should I just go ahead and ask? Yes go ahead and ask.

10 Things We Learned from Dating Someone in a Wheelchair

They are happy to talk about and explain how they go to the bathroom. After all, if things go well, you will both get more intimate than that at some point. It is good to know how your wheelchair partner functions before that happens. I cannot get over the catheter thing. It really turns me off sex. It is fair to say that kind of thing is not pretty. Ask them how they got over it. Give it some time and you might get more used to the idea.

If the catheter is in during sex, ask them about taking it out for sex. Most paraplegics can go without a catheter for several hours. I am only dating paraplegics for the parking. You are only easy to please or just butt lazy. Disability parking permits only apply to people who medically qualify for them. Sticker or no sticker, if they are not in the car, you may not park there.

Everyone knows the best thing about dating paraplegics is the oral sex! You miss out on things dating paraplegics. You can only go places that have wheelchair access.

That means boring and not spontaneous. Many people dating paraplegics enjoy all kinds of physical activities.

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They can fly, hike, swim, etc. Night clubs, rock concerts and cinemas are just a few places where wheelchair users are given priority seating and access. Should I open the door? There are limited places to go dating paraplegics and it costs extra to travel. Paraplegics often qualify for discounted fares. Some airlines allow a companion to fly free with any full fare paying wheelchair user. No country in the world bans wheelchair users or dating paraplegics.

It may just take a little more planning. They get stuck in soft sand.

A standard manual push chair will get stuck in soft sand. You can drag them through backwards but that will exhaust you quickly. Wheelchair users love the beach and warm sunny places. Just stick to beaches with a boardwalk or pier until you get to know what they are capable of. They might prefer a quad bike or 4 wheel drive. They know what you mean.

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If someone asks me, what my date wants, should I answer for them? Politely tell them to ask your date instead. I do not want to work all day while they sit at home and do nothing. Paraplegics do sit all day.

I Dated A Dude In A Wheelchair

Many work part-time to supplement a disability pension or hold down a full-time job. Some are career professionals. They may not like you sitting around doing nothing all day either.